a little bit of me

I mean come on this year we have had placements, and a zillion essays and then they make us do a bloody IT exam!

which is really impossible unless u have been on an IT course. What the hell do i know about spread sheets and data crap, why do u need to know what http stands for?. I am too old to have done it at school. So if they didn't want me to cheat and get my boyfriend to give me all the answers then they shouldn't have let me do it at home

I am loving tonights TV btw, mock the week, reaper, psychoville whoop!

I should find out my results soon, it's really hard not to worry about failing, or want to come out of this year with some good grades.

feeling happier today, i swear my hormones are my curse

well i am officially free. I managed to do all my essays without an extension. whoop!

I finished for the summer on the 24th. I have since celebrated my 28th birthday (thanks to the guys who sent me messages) I went to see my best bud in manchester.

It was lovely seeing ana, i only see her a few times a year. I really miss her but we are both busy. WHat is great is that we just pick up where we left off, there is no effort it's just how we have always been. It's scary to think we have known each other for 20 years. Manchester did it's usually weird weather thing on us, i think we avoided all the heat wave . She took me to where she used to play as a kid when visiting her granny, all the way to birkenhead. SO we left the sunshine in manchester and walked allong the muddy beach to find the sun had gone in

I spend around 4 days there then came home since then i have been bumming around, enjoying a bit of time off until i start work on my dissertation.

I had a couple of good birthday meals new guy took me somewhere nice, we did bicker a bit which was a bit crap but then i was crabby at being old so he was never going to win i went out with ana, her hubby and an old mate from school when i was in manchester, we went to a brazillian place where people just come arouns and offer u meat on a stick, it's a carnivores dream lol

erm what else have i been up to, i have seen a bit of my dad, things are going better with him which is certainly an improvement.

Went to york on saturday for one of my friends hen do, it was a good laugh (apart from the fact i had to wear a bloody tutu!) all went fine the usual girlie night out, that was until my friend started trying to beat people up on the mini bus! i ended up getting her, as she got kicked off the bus all is forgiven now, just awaiting the wedding at the end of july.

I haven't got many plans for the summer, going to do my usual work with the youth club, but i'm stuck with a month of freedom, i have no idea what i will do with all that free time.

I am awaiting a message from soy telling me when we are hitting the town for some summertime shenanigans

anyway i best go, cooking a thai green curry for tea

too many essays can't cope ......... brain mush

DEATH

5 essays, less than a month, law exam thursday!!!

well still up to my ears in uni, i probably won't be around here much until june, not unless essays rot my brain and i need an escape.

I have just started seeing someone too, he is lovely but i seem to have fallen into a relationship in the space of a week. How the hell did that happen

anyway like i said it's just a quickie, nothing wrong with a quickie i suppose but can't beat a careful pleasuring of time and effort I'll write a long post as soon as i have more time

For my portfolio I got a 65 which is a solid 2:1 so all those hours spent agonising was worth it.

I have been shit on blog lately but i'm so tired, uni is so hectic, and i now have 5 count them 5 bloody essays to hand in for the end of june! and a law exam on the 4th of june.

so I will at some point try and catch up on peoples scriblings but for now..... bed I think!

It's been a strange night on facebook.

I went to uni when i was 19, to york to study of all things.... social policy (i know but i just needed to get away) anyway. I met some really fab people there and i'd say there were a core group of between 15 and 20 of us that hung out regularly, from that i was close to 8 that are on my facebook, who mostly live down south. it is hard to meet up as much as we would all like to. It's really strange as i dropped out of uni i only really had 18 months to get to know them, but it was really meaningful. I had an "incident" while i lived away which i have discussed in my private posts, and actually i can say that 4 of these friends saved my life.

there are so many stories i could tell, of sexual liberation parties, the night of a thousand cups, star power, captain birdseye and more but that's not for today (got u wondering though)

Anyway there was this guy i fancied but i was going out with someone, then he went out with someone, then it ended, we were best mates then he started seeing my best female friend so i ended up with his best friend who i had got strangely close to. ..... so him (the one i fancied's best mate), he was on facebook tonight i haven't spoken to him in around 5 years it is really weird because i have seen him on there before and he has never chatted, but equally strange is the fact that earlier tonight i was chatting to someone from the same uni friend group. (who has just ended with his girlfriend which is very sad as they have a little boy together)

i can't help but feel there is something weird and fatalistic, like people have these strings attached to people and they are just meant to meet or communicate. for example one of the uni group (the one i fancied origionally) i managed to bump into while i was on holiday in thailand. He lives in london i never see him, yet a zillion miles away we bump into each other.

i appreciate this is all confuddled but that's how my brain works!

been out with a few girls tonight
to a bar that's supposed to be a singlesish night, in a full pub not one bloke took my eye, there were three of us all single. and in a crowded pub not one of us fancied any one. I mean don't get me wrong we had a great night out, but how do u meet someone decent????? i mean i work in a female dominated field, so meeting someone in work is mainly out of the question. blokes u meet in pubs are twats and blokes online well..... the initial chemistry is missing, so what do i i do???? i mean i don't care that much i am generally happy but u know a girl has needs and well i need a cuddle too bah life is too complicated. I sometime think i was born in the wrong era!

i have been told by my brother that texting people may the fourth be with you is very sad.

Yes it is but it makes me giggle and i know that by doing it it will be a race to see who beats me to it next year

i hate hangovers i hate hangovers i hate hangovers i hate hangovers i hate hangovers

one day i will learn

in other news I went to pick up my brother from my dads house today ( he had been playing drinking games and had managed to spew all over his bed and dad's washer isn't working so i had to pick him and his sheets up .... nice) ANYWAY i went in to say hello and dad was there with his new girlfriend (the one who looks like edwina curry but is generally quite nice) He has invited me to go to a do at the rugby club on the 30th of may. I tend to avoid things that involve me and my dad our history isn't the best father daughter relationship. I don't want to go into it now but i am left with this pondering ....... I can't complain that he never takes an interest and doesn't give a shit about me if when he does reach out and try and involve me i reject him. SO i suppose i should go. I really want to believe that he is doing this because he loves me and wants to see me, but i can't help but think it is for edwinas benefit, the whole lets pretend we are a happy family thing. I know that is cynical but it is based on 27 years of him not giving a rats ass!