Well work is back in full force i am left with so many shit shifts it's unreal. I have a supervision with my manager tomorrow over work stresses etc so that should be interesting!
i have been meeting up with shy guy. he is sweet bless him i suppose my only concern is having to take the lead. I am so used to the usual flirting or give and take or the bloke taking the lead. sometimes he looks at me like an animal trapped in the headlights!!!!
I am trying not to be dismissive, i get a bit commitment phobic and have to resist the urges to meet up with casual guy for a shag and a feeling of worthlessness to fully absorb myself in self pity :))
I do have a self destruct button i find it so hard to let people get close through fear of getting hurt. I keep comparing shy guy to my ex and nothing is like what i had with him. Ok ok everyone would tell me my ex was really bad for me but i'm so not over him.
I feel sorry for poor shy guy wanting to be with a basket case like me. I will do him justice though, i have no intentions of messing with his head. he has made me smile and i had lost that for a long time the guy deserves a chance even if it means me having to guide him in the ways of woman and possibly trying to trust someone with my feelings.