well i did it.
It came to saturday and well every sentence he spoke seemed to wind me up.
I hung up the phone after we agreed to speak to each other later as to what we were gonna do tonight.

I thought about it and rung back. I told him how i was feeling that i really wanted it to work but i just wasn't feeling anything and it was starting to feel awkward. Luckily he could see where i was coming from. We spoke about being just too different and how neither of us really wanted to be alone.

but...

it's finished looks like it will be lonely for me this christmas but at least i'm not living a lie

so i shall go back to having a cry

it's weird i miss him